The primary character development found in the film is found in the characters of the fathers of the couple-to-be. They are initially very repellant of each other, and can hardly stand in the same room together without arguing. Before the end of the film, however, they realize that the marriage which they are trying to arrange is not about them, but rather instead, it is about their children, and that that is what matters. Upon this realization, they are able to bond over the strange feeling of “giving up” their first-borns to someone else's child, among other things.
There is also some character development in the bride and groom, though it is less pronounced. In the beginning of the film, they are both deathly afraid of coming clean with their parents about their plans, due to their uncertainty as to how their parents will react. In fact, the bride does not even reveal the side fact that she has dropped out of law school until later in the film when she practically mentions it by accident in a heated argument with her parents. This reluctance to be open and honest with their parents reflects the slight immaturity of both of the young people. But there is irony in the fact that the young people are still more mature than their fathers, whose every encounter ends up in a repartee of racial slurs.
The most obvious theme in Our Family Wedding is one of racial differences. According to the film, people of different races are crippled by their racism, rendering them almost completely incapable of communicating with one another. This is one of the more ridiculous aspects of the film, perhaps upstaged only by a goat on Viagra, but it is intended to create nearly all of the humor in most of the film. Unfortunately, this humor is very trying almost immediately, and it becomes entirely arduous for the remaining duration. Not only are the jokes incredibly silly and stupid, but they are unfunny, and, sometimes, lifted from another film. One such example is the joke of Carlos Mencia's character attempting to slide into first base during a softball match, but coming several feet short; this gag was done more effectively over twenty years ago in David Ward's Major League, and it is more likely that a 2010 family comedy stole the joke rather than paid homage to a 1989 farcical professional baseball comedy. In regards to the aforementioned goat-on-Viagra scenario: it is not crazy enough to make the scene surrealistically funny nor is it plausible enough to be relatable, and it therefore ends up falling flat.
Although the racial clashing in the film is outlandish enough to be considered solely for comedic effect, some of the other depictions do not receive the same treatment. For example, the mother (in the case of the bride) and the mother figure (in the case of the groom) are remarkably flat and one-dimensional. Both of them have their feelings greatly hurt by their children and/or partner and yet they are willing to forgive and forget over very simplistic signs of condolence: the bride's mother is cheered up by sitting in a car that takes her back to her younger days, and the groom's mother figure bizarrely falls back in love with the groom's father after he forces her to dance with him. This depiction of women as shallow in the media is very common and was plain to see in Our Family Wedding.
What stereotypes the father figures do not allude to in their verbal sparring are eventually reinforced in a dramatic fashion. One such is the buffoon stereotype of men. The best example is found in the failure of the fathers to complete the simple task of hiring a disc jockey for the wedding: they are unable to do so because they cannot control themselves and quickly begin drinking heavily at a club. Fortunately for the plotline, their partners are rather inclined to brush this off as “guys will be guys.” This sort of incompetence found in the fathers requires the mother figures to pick up much of the slack of planning and executing the wedding ceremony. Oddly, little of their work is shown on-screen, and the audience feels safe in assuming that everyone involved did their fair share of work in putting things together. Incredibly, this is actually common in real life (Sniezek 2005).
In Our Family Wedding, there is a scene in the families get together to decide who they will seat where during the ceremony. This sequence contains some of the most cliché humor of the film, including references to all of the “crazy” aunts, uncles, and cousins everyone has. But what is most striking about this scene is that the bride and groom have considerably small input on the decisions being made. This is their wedding and yet they are not necessarily allowed to choose who will come and who will not, and who will sit by whom. Though this is viewed as typical in cinema, it does reflect quite accurately what occurs in actual wedding planning (Castrén and Maillochon 2009). Between this and the aforementioned unequal distribution of labor, Our Family Wedding is surprisingly realistic in regards to some aspects of wedding planning, whether intentional or not.
One of the few relatively poignant points made in Our Family Wedding is delivered by Carlos Mencia's character when he says that the secret to raising children is lying. This is one of the most genuine moments of the film and it unfortunately is placed so poorly in the film that it is likely to be looked over by the audience. Most people can relate to the concept of being told to act or think one way by their parents and yet their parents seem to be incapable of acting or thinking that way themselves, as depicted in the film. It is the golden rule that many people try, and fail, to live by. Unsurprisingly, this notion of “parenting by lying” has been supported by studies such as the one completed by Heyman, Lee, and Luu (Heyman, Lee, and Luu 2009). Ironically, many people who preach the golden rule do not actually live by it.
References
Angelo, M. (2010, March 7). Wedding Plan: Jump a Broom or Eat a Goat [Electronic version]. New York Times, p. 14.
Breznican, A. (2010, January 7). Race and family head to the Altar [Electronic version]. USA Today, p. 1d.
Castrén, A. and Maillochon, F. (2009). Who Chooses the Wedding Guests, the Couple or the Family? [Electronic version]. European Societies, 11, 369-389.
Catsoulis, J. (2010, March 12). Untitled [Electronic version]. New York Times, p. 10.
Heyman, G. D., Lee, K., and Luu, D. H. (2009). Parenting by lying [Electronic version]. Journal of Moral Education, 38, 353-369.
“Our Family Wedding”. (n.d.). Internet Movie Database. Retrieved from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1305583/
Sniezek, T. (2005). Is It Our Day or the Bride’s Day? The Division of Wedding Labor and Its Meaning for Couples [Electronic version]. Qualitative Sociology, 28, 215-234.
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